Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people's cars saying "sorry for the damage." Watch their reactions.
Most of the day I try to avoid clocks, because I can't look at them without calculating how much longer until I can leave.
What's this so-called "good night's sleep" all about?
My life is like 1 ply toilet paper. I get the job done, but I have no idea how
I got arrested today for feeding some homeless guys on the street, and to top it all off, the cops broke my potato gun.
"Talk to the hands!" - Deaf People
Feeling pretty clever that I made my emergency contact "911"