WTF Statuses

My wife always asks if "it's safe to go in there" after a bathroom trip like there's a pack of rabid hyena's loose in our apartment.
If something were better than the leading brand, then it would be the leading brand.
Cats make great pets, out of their owners...
Project Runway star Tim Gunn said that he hasn’t had sex in 29 years. I had no idea he was married.
Photoshop has made online dating like eating at Denny's: what you order bears no resemblance to what the photo looked like on the menu.
I really don't like annoying people. Except for my girlfriend, I could annoy her all day long
Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr Dre.
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