Sometimes I use raw toast instead of bread to make sandwiches.
Just a hunch, but I don't think Obama's gonna be using that "change" platform this time around.
Words With Friends, or as I like to call it, Words With seriously they've got to be cheating.
I wonder how many inmates have tried to use Morgan Freeman's Shawshank speech in front of a parole board.
Dear facewash commercials, People don't actually splash their face like that. Sincerely, my bathroom floor is now soaking wet.
I saw a man at the beach yelling "Help, shark! Help!" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.
You mean it's not normal for the ATM to play a laugh track when it displays your balance?