The number of times you've found a hair in your food is not nearly as scary as the number of times you haven't.
Wishing your pet could talk is fun until you realize all the things you've done in front of it.
Bluechair
Just got back from a good mates funeral. He died after being struck on the head by a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.
What I hate most about Twitter: finishing a good tweet, having -1 characters left, and then having to decide which grammar crime to commi
Everyone is an animal lover. It just depends if you like your animals alive, or on your plate.
Studying is a lot like picking up dog crap...No one likes to do it, but it has to be done
Wherever you pause in a movie, the actor's face will always look stupid.