'I live life on the edge.' - Humpty Dumpty
My alarm clock probably thinks I have anger-management issues.
The older the Facebook post, the creepier your "like" becomes.
I'm sorry ma'am, but we can't file a missing persons report until Waldo's been gone for 48 hours.
I can't wait for the day when I can say, "Remember Facebook?
Jake
Dora is multilingual at age four. You'd think she could find the f'ing tree herself
I kept telling my mom I was going to fail my test. She told me if I had an attitude like that I would! And well, she was right, but the again, so was I.