Hard to go on living when I realize Snooki met my life goals of losing weight and becoming a best selling author before I did.
I get in trouble because there are only two kinds of secrets, those that aren't worth keeping and those that are too good to keep.
I drink too much, I smoke too much but honestly, I'm halving the time of my life.
Life's too short to safely remove a USB.
So I met this prostitute who said she'd do anything for $20. Guess who got their homework done.
Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo
If strippers are now called exotic dancers then drug dealers should be called exotic pharmacists.