On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me.. 12 hoes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeeensssss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends-a-pokin & a weirdo who wont stop inboxing meeeee...
How come the only normal people are the ones I don't know very well?
Facebook makes you hate people you already know and Twitter makes you love people you've never met.
How did people write research papers before Wikipedia?
Why does the sound of the recliner opening always remind my wife the trash needs to be taken out?
Trying to lose weight during the holidays is like trying to stay dry while swimming.
When I'm on my death bed, I want my final words to be "I left one million dollars in the..."