WTF Statuses

1+1=3...If you don't use a condom
Tangled earbuds are the new rubik's cube.
What's with all the excessive tanning on Jersey Shore? If I wanted to see talking carrots, I'd watch Veggie Tales.
My life has a superb cast... I just can't figure out the plot.
The secret of our marriage is chemistry. She's on Valium and I'm on Prozac.
Did you hear about the paranoid dyslexic? He thought he was following someone.
Behind every successful man, stands a surprised mother in law.
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