"I just launched a new fragrance!" is a great way to announce a fart.
Snooki just wrote another book, which is an amazing accomplishment considering she's still trying to learn how to read her first one.
If you're buying a cell phone in England, be aware that the camera adds 10£.
Halloween Tip: Before you say, "Great zombie costume!" make sure the person isn't just incredibly ugly.
Facebook should have a limit on the number of times you can change your relationship status. After 3 or so it should default to "Unstable".
Halloween: The one night a year where we completely undo everything we've taught our kids about taking candy from strangers.
Somehow, when she dresses up like a witch one night a year, it's sexy. But when she's a witch every other day of the year... nothing.