Say "no" to drugs because talking to inanimate objects is the best way to show people you're sober.
So in "Harry Potter" their sport involves catching a "snitch"? That sounds a lot like my neighborhood.
If I were one of those kids listening to the story, I would've interrupted by now and said, "Dear god, WHEN Did You Meet Our Mother?
I just laughed at the thought of a rapper owning a cat.
On Twitter, never judge a hot woman by his avi.
If this guy doesn't get elected I will take out a national ad during Yo Gabba Gabba saying Santa isn't real. The choice is yours voters
I just bought a Swiss car. It runs like clockwork, but I can't figure out how to get it out of neutral.