Sometimes when I’m carrying one of my sleeping children I’m tempted to wake them up & say “You’re gonna do this for me in 20 years, right?”
Goodbye Qwikster. Now I'll go back to using you as a nickname for my penis.
They say that half of life is just showing up. But they won't tell me where.
how stupid are some people to require instructions on a bottle of shampoo to tell you not to freakin drink it?
Wondering how many of your followers are jerks? Just post something with a typo. That's like their mating call.
Musicians: Stop it with hidden tracks. It's like serving me dinner, then making me search the kitchen for dessert.
This salad bar needs less salad and more bar.