They should make Hoarders Highlander where hoarders fight other hoarders and the winner gets all the stuff.
It's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.
Moses would be the best lifeguard ever.
Is it weirder that a guy tried to get cans of green beans through airport security or that they didn't let him?
My car having a key-less ignition has saved a lot of idiots that park way too close to me so much money on car repairs.
You know you're ghetto when the sorting hat puts you in Waffle House.
Completing a jury duty form online is so convenient because googling how to get out of it is that much closer.