You know a song's about to go downhill lyrically when they start counting for no apparent reason.
I wish I could sign a kid's baseball and have it mean something other than "You just ruined my baseball."
If you're wondering why obesity is so prevalent in the states I have three words for you: Hungry, Hungry Hippos. It trained us well.
When my friends ask me to babysit, I ask if the kid is a "mean drunk" or a "happy drunk." Gets me out of it every time.
If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
Leron Tonge
I don't always wake up early without an alarm, But when I do, it's a weekend.
Leron Tonge
If time is money, then are ATM's time machines?