Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
Yes, Pandora, I'm still listening. Stop being so insecure.
I get to my doctor appointments 45 minutes late so I can get there right on time.
At a wedding reception someone yelled, "All the married men please stand next to the person that made your life worth living." The bartender was crushed to death.
Give the Wicked Witch a break, she couldn't take showers her entire life, you would be mean and scary looking too.
4 out of 5 bubble baths result in Santa Claus beards.