I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
If one human year equals seven dog years, shouldn't we be singing happy birthday to them every 52 days?
At least a zombie would love me for my brain.
I bet if we made congress use 1ply toilet paper until our economy was fixed, they would have it corrected by tomorrow.
Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
It's amazing how once you stop thinking with your wiener all the time, the ladies finally let you use yours.
I want to raise my kids like I was so when I change the TV channel I make my kid get up and pretend to turn a dial.