They should change the name of "Disney Channel" to "Celebrity Pre-Rehab".
I leave the subject line blank on my e-mails because I know I can’t stay on topic.
When you compliment a woman, never end the sentence with "today." They'll turn that around on you. "So I don't look good EVERY day?"
Car commercials make driving around in empty parking structures look fun and normal and not suspicious or kidnappy.
I don't do a lot of good deeds, but when I walk past a well, I always stop and make sure there's not a kid stuck down there.
I like to leave piles of sawdust on playgrounds with a note that just says "Pinocchio."
If you can read this, thank a teacher! If you can do busy work for an hour or watch a weird, unrelated video, thank a substitute teacher!