I bet turtles have one hell of a farmers tan.
Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs? It's a baby, not a stash of heroin.
I hope someone will document at least one girl's evolution from "Toddlers & Tiaras" to "Teen Mom" to "Intervention" to "Hoarders."
Women with dreadlocks are my best chance to ever get married due to their obvious long-term commitment to awful decisions.
Sci-fi fans who use Star Wars references for real life situations are single virgins because they're looking for love in Alderaan places.
"MON MON MON!" - rastafarian cookie monster.
Truthfully, women carry Kleenex so just in case we run into Quentin Tarantino we can make him blow his nose and stop talking like that.