Facebook: where English goes to die.
If I open a Laser hair removal office but can't strap women down and re-enact the Bond scene from Goldfinger, then what's the point really?
So weird how, when you honk as soon as the light turns green, I can't seem to find the gas pedal.
I don’t care what my former employers say, at least all my eBay feedback is positive.
Would a protest to legalize marijuana be a March of Dimebags?
I slept like a baby. I woke up every two hours screaming and kept crapping my pants.
There's no such thing as an automatic door. Just gentlemen ninjas.