Firstly, Amy Winehouse is dead. Everyone is saying she's in the 27 club, but I beg to differ. She is in no way a Cobain/Morrison/Hendrix.
Stop taking the little things for granted. If Super Mario ever saw just half of what you were dumping in that Coinstar™ he'd crap his pants.
Ladies. What's with smelling like different fruits all the time? Do you see men eating a lot of fruit? ...try barbecue sauce
You can't make the same mistake twice. The second time you make it, it's no longer a mistake. It's a choice.
Seeing talk of Brett Favre returning reminds me of the horror movie villain that keeps coming back after you think they are finished off.
The last time there were sparks in my bedroom the wife was watching The Food Network and drooled on the electric blanket.
I want to wear glasses just so I can take them off and rub my eyes with my palms in exasperation when someone says something stupid.