WTF Statuses

While sitting on the couch with my wife rhythmically flipping through channels, I hope that extra 3 second pause on boobs isn't noticeable.
When do I know I'm a full adult? Is it when I buy a house, or when I stop substituting popcorn for a meal?
Tomorrow marks the 207th anniversary of the Burr-Hamilton duel. Given current political impasses, why can't we bring this tradition back?
Reminder to myself: Just because they’re called “Tramp Stamps” doesn’t mean you can lick ‘em.
If your glass is always half empty, buy smaller glasses.
I started setting up my Google+ account this weekend. I think it's cute how Google plays dumb and asks me to fill in my personal information.
How pissed do you think homeless people get when the song "Mo Money, Mo Problems" comes on?
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