My life is an open book. Of course, I have it dog-eared to the page I want you to see, but still.
Tomorrow is less than an hour away in my time zone, so screw you Annie. Tomorrow is not always a day away.
There's no better way to announce to the world you seek its approval than to scream you don't need it. A fish never claims it is a swimmer.
It's much easier to turn a friendship into love, than love into friendship.
Mickey Mouse's lawyer: "So you want to divorce Minnie because she's a little crazy?" Mickey: "No. I want to divorce Minnie because she's fuckin' Goofy!"
Watching "Batman: The Movie", Batman is hanging from a helicopter with a shark biting his leg. He asks for Robin to pass him the "Shark Repellent Bat Spray" If shark repellent existed I would totally keep it in my helicopter, because that's where I would most likely run into sharks.
I would enjoy Superman so much more if he flapped his arms when he flew.