WTF Statuses

The internet: Where the inane and stupid go head-to-head with the passionate and misinformed!
I've been in line for way longer than expected. I'd probably be inside by now if these Emo kids weren't such cutters.
"Fight fire with fire" - unequivocally the worst advice I have ever received. My house just burned even faster.
I wish more things in my life could be blamed on auto correct.
Whew. Thank you, warning label. I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
California leads the nation in pot production and BigFoot sitings. Coincidence? I think not...
I have a kleptomania problem. I should probably take something for it.
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