Children are the greatest gift of all, but punch some holes in the box so they can breathe.
My New Year's resolution is to be more punctual.
Xyuppi
The ship stuck in the Suez Canal is blocking so much important stuff they've decided to rename it the USS Mitch McConnell.
Starting to make bread early for Easter... apparently it takes three days to rise
Kristian Alekov
Although I can still party like an absolute rock star, it would appear that I cannot recover like one.
Passover ~ That time of the year when the Savior rises and the bread doesn't.
Florida
The CEO of IKEA was just elected president in Sweden. He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week