WTF Statuses

I won't consider myself successful until someone follows me around with a cooler of gatorade to dump over my head whenever I win at anything.

Katherine Johnson was a badass mathematician until the very end. She waited until turning 101 so she can die on her “Prime”

I use a blender to make protein shakes in my office every day. That way when I use it to mix up a pitcher of margaritas no one even notices.

Coronavirus won't last long, it was made in China.

Snow White is down to 6 dwarfz. Sneezy is now placex in quarantine.

Purell is the most expensive bottle of alcohol in the country.

I've always known my lifetime of alienating friends and family would one day pay off.