ZYuppi
I'm surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I've dropped and shattered my phone.
Darn I just realized I missed the Emmys again which now makes like 10 years in a row.
Xyuppi
I don't think any of my vampire jokes will ever see the light of day.
ZYuppi
If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders.
ZYuppi
If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. That way you'll get applause every 3 or 4 minutes.
ZYuppi
If a telemarketer calls, give the phone to your 3 year-old and tell them it's Santa.
ZYuppi
The only math I'm good at is adding insult to injury.