I want to change my name on Facebook to "No One," so when I try to add people, it will say, "No One wants to be your friend."
I can't understand why some people cry when chopping onions. Personally I find it better to not get emotionally attached .
If you ask Lebron James for a dollar he'll give you 75 cents, but he never gives you the 4th quarter.
I Don't Have a Bad Handwriting. I have my own Font.
If you play a Ke$ha song backwards, you hear messages from Satan. Even worse, if you play it forwards you hear Ke$ha.
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then, he's finished.
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.