Shaving your head is the "You can't fire me because i quit" approach to male pattern baldness.
I don't like the term "stalker". I prefer "unpaid private investigator".
More people should be at a loss for words.
A hypnotist is just someone that tries to roofie you with jazz hands.
Pet stores should post "Chameleon" on empty reptile cages just to see how long people would stand and look.
PizzaDr
Toys R Us is filing for bankruptcy. Four more times and it will qualify them to run for President.
PizzaDr
If you eat doughnuts fast enough your Fitbit thinks you're walking.