Sorry middle-aged women, but it doesn't count as reading if there are abs on the cover of the book.
My line of affordable kitchenware is NOT produced in a sweatshop! From what I'm told those children are given PLENTY of anti-perspirant!
Just farted in the bath and nearly drowned trying to smell it!!!!
Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of whiteout. I woke up this morning with a huge correction.
If my dog is good I'll change the channel during the sad ASPCA commercials. If he's not I hold his eyes open like in A Clockwork Orange.
I'm too tired to do a lap dance. How 'bout I just sit on your knee and you do the horsey thing?
My neck is killing me. My memory foam mattress must have amnesia.