Nillers
Remember on Sunday to set your clocks back one hour, and then on Tuesday to not set the country back 50 years.
Kristian Alekov
If Trump wins I'm leaving the country. If Hillary wins I'm leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
Xyuppi
The bouncer from my local nightclub calls me Macaulay Culkin because I always go home alone.
A bachelor party is more appropriate after a divorce than before a wedding.
Xyuppi
Kid's Choice Awards are a great reminder why children aren't allowed to vote.
Xyuppi
I've never heard an alarm going off on a car worth stealing.
It's not that I like watching midget porn, it's just that my phone screen is too small to watch regular porn.