Insightful Statuses

Earn extra cash from superstitious strangers by placing a wishing well in your front garden.

I'm combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I'm sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven't hidden.

I thought I was having déjà vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day

I was kidnapped by a pack of mimes. They performed unspeakable acts on me.

I've been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I'm actually talking to someone.

My insomnia is getting so bad that I can't even sleep at work.

All the guys from 'Pawn Stars' should compete on an episode of 'The Price is Right'