Every time I almost think humanity is going to be okay, I catch a glimpse of Yahoo Answers.
Old people at weddings always poke me n say "You're Next". So I started doing the same to them at funerals....
I don't know what's more disturbing? My son reading a billboard that says "LIVE NUDE GIRLS" or him asking if there's dead ones.
Some idiot just told an elevator joke ON an elevator. It was wrong on so many levels
You ever feel a crap coming that makes you think, “maybe I should stretch first?”
There's more than one way to skin a cat, but people usually freak out and call the cops before you're done with the first.
The pool in my yard is safe for swimming again. There's no way the snakes could survive the amount of gasoline I dumped in.