Sex is the only activity where hiring a professional is considered wrong and is often illegal
I’ll rise, but I won’t shine.
My house looks like I'm losing a game of Jumanji.
I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I'm sexy!" Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!
When I go running, I usually meet new people. Like paramedics...
Cyberbilly
Intelligence: Knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom: Not putting tomatoes in a Fruit Salad. Philosophy: Wondering if Ketchup is a Smoothie.
Xyuppi
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07