Insightful Statuses

If you can say "I made six figures last year," you either have a well paying job or you're the worst employee at a toy factory

It's beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

I think my dentist, Jennifer has fillings for me.

I wish my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work.

We're in for such a cold winter this year that the squirrels are collecting more "nuts" than usual and so far 3 of my neighbors have disappeared..... Are you all OK?

Dammit, that's the last time I open the fridge before knocking. Who knew there was a salad dressing?

"Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas."