Xyuppi
I love long walks on the beach with my girlfriend, until the LSD wears off and I realized I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a Wendy's parking lot.
Using my phone after the low battery warning comes on is as close as I'll get to dismantling a bomb.
Which is worse: Ignorance or apathy? Who knows? Who cares?
Cyberbilly
I hate when people take my glasses and say "Wow! You really can't see!" I'm like no kidding. I don't take a person's wheelchair and say "Wow! You really can't walk!"
I think I can survive on Mars since they found water for my coffee.
I’m trying to kick dairy and now I’ve got the milk shakes.
Someone needs to take a chain saw to your family tree.