Dear random person I waved at that looks like someone I know, Just humor me, please. Sincerely, this is freaking embarrassing.
Somebody just asked casually if i have a webcam, I can only assume they want to see my junk.
When Bill Gates's life flashes before his eyes, I hope it appears as PowerPoint presentation that employs every cheesy transition & effect.
Trouble brewing at Symphony Hall. It's the bottom of Beethoven's 9th, and the bassists are loaded.
Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I'll ever get to being a magician
If one synchronized swimmer drowns do the rest all have to drown too?
Police Scanner just reported a drunk naked idiot wearing snow boots, singing free bird, riding a lawn mower down the highway!