Insightful Statuses

I want my children to be independent headstrong people. Just not while I'm raising them.
Push yourself. Do 15 push-ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat an entire cake instead of juse one piece. Burn your ex's house down. I believe in you!
By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn't believe me.
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
Whoever said your harshest critic is yourself was clearly never married.
When doing an Internet search for the movie "Monsters Ball", make sure you put the "s" at the end of the right word. Trust me on this one.
Why does tasty mean that a thing tastes good and smelly mean that a thing smells bad?
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