I watched the deleted scenes from a porno last night. Turns out he ended up fixing the washing machine after all.
The only government agency that listens to you is the NSA.
If someone shouts "GET DOWN" or "PUT YOUR HANDS UP", you're about to have a great time, or a really bad one.
Dave Long
The local Goodwill store is advertising on their sign, "All shirts $1.39". So I pulled up in my rented U-Haul, walked in with $1.39 plus tax and asked the clerk where the shirts were located. Apparently the sign was a bit unclear...
I really like this new reality show "Neighbor Without Drapes"
I never make plans until I know how I am getting out of them.
How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?