Novell
It’s so nice outside I should probably close the blinds so there isn’t a glare on my screen.
My phone just fell down a flight of stairs, but it's ok, it was in my pocket.
My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. He seems like a nice guy. Loves his kids.
Birth control pills are like cute little advent calendars for a really terrible holiday.
Guacamole is my favorite food that looks like someone already ate it.
On a scale of 1 to Nature Valley granola bar, how much is your life falling apart?
To all you guys who call me boring, at least the police say I'm "a person of interest".