Insightful Statuses

There’s so many people I’d love to get the silent treatment from
I saw a car with a New England Patriots sticker driving in front of me. I was tempted to follow and deflate the tires.
#11156
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Novell
I used to have superpowers but the psychiatrist took them away
#11157
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Novell
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I’m part of the other 2%
I DON’T UNDERSTAND IT! WHY THE F*CK WOULD SOMEBODY BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CON-Never mind, I found it.
I went to Big Lots with a $100 gift card. They just handed me the keys to the store.
#11160
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Cyberbilly
I got really drunk and had unprotected sex with the cashier at 7-Eleven last night. I Hope I don't catch Slurpees.
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