Dave Long
Would you mind going with me to my next Psychologist appointment? He thinks I'm making you up.
Amigo
When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life…
I don't think I meet the height requirement to ride your emotional roller coaster.
The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.
Since they're loud and heavily scented already, Abercrombie & Fitch stores really are the ideal spot to go fart.
I’ve finally worked up the courage to tell you how I feel. I feel hungry.
When I was a kid...no wait, I still do that.