Cris
I once dated a girl with a parrot. That thing was crazy and never shut up! The parrot was cool though.
Jackamus
I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
Love is like Wi-Fi, you can’t see it, but you know when you’ve lost it.
"Last man standing" is the winner in most contests, but the runner up in musical chairs.
A toilet was stolen from the police station. The cops have nothing to go on.
Three words to ruin a man's ego: "Is it in?" Three words to ruin a woman's ego: "I don't know."
People who don’t understand sarcasm are awesome.