Amigo
Make your employees work 8x faster by constantly playing that music from Sonic the Hedgehog when you’ve been under water for too long.
Amigo
I need to adjust the brightness settings for my future.
"Come on, no one else is doing it!" - Hipster peer pressure
Amigo
Textaphrenia – thinking you've heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.
Amigo
My wife says I talk while I sleep, but I’m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
Amigo
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it...
Amigo
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain