Insightful Statuses

If I ran my legs as much as I did my mouth, I'd be in fantastic shape.

This movie has "adult content"? So, they're gonna complain about back pains and setting up a 401k?

Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can’t make coffee.

I spend 90% of my time at the gym choosing the right song for my workout.

I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?

Instead of “single” as a marital status, it should read “independently owned and operated”

How do bats hang upside down without crapping on themselves?