Amigo
The cashier told me “Strip down, facing me.” How was I to know she meant my debit card?
Amigo
Nicknames are WAY more fun when people don’t know they have them
Amigo
A woman’s anger is like a check engine light; there’s no pleasant way to determine what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.
Amigo
Do the Chinese realize that when they’re visiting America, they buy souvenirs made in their own country?
Amigo
Thinking about moving to Alabama just so I don’t have to scroll through all those other states when I sign up for websites
Amigo
A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.
Amigo
If they just built prisons out of the stuff they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.