Amigo
Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind someone on a stationary bike and pretend you’re angrily chasing them.
Amigo
If you see me talking to myself don't be alarmed. I'm getting expert advice.
It never ceases to amaze me that the little space between the driver’s seat and the center console in my car will fit any object that can possibly be dropped, but will not fit a hand.
Amigo
I can’t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes.
Amigo
If one door closes & another door opens, you’re probably in prison.
You dont really know what you have in your pantry till your broke during the week
Cyberbilly
Why didn't Beyonce and Jay-Z name their kid B-Jay?