Thank God I was young and stupid BEFORE there were camera phones.
School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes
I'll do a lot of things for money, but I draw the line at working...
Has anyone with explosive diarrhea ever thought "you know, this time I'll go with normal strength Imodium."
Strangers: "Excuse me please." Family: "Hey move!" Best friends: "Get the f*** out of my way!"
Bread bowls: The waffle cone of the soup world.
Facebook game requests are like Herpes: They never go away no matter how much you want them to.