I remember when "selfies" were called "nobody else wants to take my picture."
I want to ki██ you. (options may vary)
Me: Yes, 911? My wife is going into labor, what do I do? 911: Relax sir, is this her first child? Me: No, this is her husband.
They seriously need an express lane at the Bank for those of us who have less than $100 dollars in our checking account.
The search for Flight 370 was declared "the most difficult in human history". Amelia Earhart could not be reached for comment.
If people in horror movies listened to me, they'd still be alive.
I don’t want to be a millionaire, I just want enough money to be able to stare off into the distance while pumping gas.