My taste in music ranges from, "You need to listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
Surround yourself with people who make you laugh until your abs hurt. That way you never actually have to work out.
Just bought a car with the money from my swear jar.
I have always wanted to start a brand of Christian themed lollipops and call them Catho-licks.
"I didn't get your text" is the new "my dog ate my homework"
Geico could probably save you more than 15 percent if they stopped spending billions on advertising.
Can we just stop with the pre-sliced cheese? Is anyone so busy that they don’t have time to cut the cheese?