Imagine how fun Pringles would be if the cans were spring-loaded.
Of course I have a date for Valentine's Day! It's February 14th, just like every year...
Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing, but it cost a fortune in stamps.
First rule of Thesaurus Club. You don't talk, discuss, converse, speak, chat, confer, deliberate, gab, or gossip about Thesaurus Club.
What do you get when you mix a rhetorical question and a joke?
I like how the kids in E.T. keep pedaling the whole time they're on the flying bikes. Just in case.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes