Benjamin Uke
A woman started choking in the line at Starbucks. It was so scary but thankfully someone opened another register.
I farted on my wallet. Now I have gas money.
How the heck are eggs full of cholesterol but chickens aren't?
User889
Whenever someone says, "that's what she said", I like to reply with, "not to you"
If only the state of Colorado had a way of mitigating its pain right now...
Well at least the puppy bowl was a competitive game
Funny how people get all angry when you break something of theirs that they don't ever use. Like turn signals with a baseball bat.